There comes a point in every man's life when he learns he is completely unable to verify whether or not a girl is attractive when he is black out drunk. The lesson is learned early for some, others never learn it or are aware of it and simply choose to ignore it. I had an experience when I was 21 years old that should've made me realize how completely incapable I am of judging how hot a girl is whilst blacked out (a story deserved of its own post). I didn't learn my lesson. Not until 2 years later, at my 5 year high school reunion.
I was playing wingman for a friend who was persuing some former high school crush. I should also mention how reluctant I was to attend my own reunion, fueling my need to get as drunk as possible. So there I am, drunkingly talking to this girl's friends, slowly losing any sense of the world around me, propped up only by large quantities of adderall. When suddenly one of the girl's friends that I hadn't noticed before starts hitting on me hard.
It's dark. I'm wasted. I'm into it.
The predictable happens and we end up making out HARD at the bar. I'm told it was a sight to behold. Luckily it was at the end of the night, in a PACKED room. So the event went mostly unnoticed (I hope). Unluckily, someone snapped a candid of us together. In my defense, she looks cute in the picture.
I have very little recollection of the rest of the night. All I remember is "coming to" in her apartment (which was near the bar), realizing I needed to get out of there, and planning to go on a date with her. Did I mention she was a virgin? A blessing in disguise because int he moment I didn't want to take her virginity. And after the fact, I'm grateful my penis was nowhere near her.
More predictability followed. I accept her friend request, realized how big of a mistake I made, and made sure I never saw her again. My big idea of going on a date was quickly brushed under the table (I was looking for girlfriend material at the time), brought up only by my more malicious friends. My friend's attempts with his high school crush petered out (although they were wonderfully aided by my wingman skills - which I will never let him forget), and I never had to see her again.
For the most part I have no regrets. When you're blacked out and on drugs, you do a lot of things you normally wouldn't do. Isn't that why you put yourself into that state in the first place? But I know that, at least for myself, I will always need a second opinion on any girl I'm hitting on. And like any exercise, its much safer with a spotter.
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